Nebulous
by WanderingDark
Summary: Complete the mission. That was all she knew in this unfamiliar landscape. That was all that kept her going despite her blackened heart. Sakura, flung back to the past, hatefully accepted the burden of being the survivor. Everyone else was dead. Sannin Era. BAMF Sakura. Major Character Death.


A/N: Yo!

I'm just gonna start posting all the stories I've been working on. Not sure where I'll go with them.

This story is dark. Be prepared.

* * *

Summary:

Complete the mission. That was all she knew in this unfamiliar landscape. That was all that kept her going despite her blackened heart. Sakura, flung back to the past, hatefully accepted the burden of being the survivor. Everyone else was dead. Sannin Era. BAMF Sakura. Major Character Death.

* * *

Sakura was no stranger to death. Through all her life, it had surrounded her, touched her friends, her family, the people of the village and beyond. As a medic, she experienced it firsthand on a good day, and was drowned in it on others. She guessed that was why now, holding her daughter's cold body, she was not crying.

Odd. It was odd. Of course, there was sorrow and there was pain, but it was all muted, all drawn thin like a long sigh that was just about to run out of air. She hadn't been fast enough, hadn't made it in time. She hadn't been prepared. The world was crumbling around her, there were voices screaming in pain, screaming for a medic, screaming for death – but what did it matter? She was no stranger to death.

"-ura! Sakura!" A hand on her arm turned her around. Naruto, bathed in golden flames, flinched hard as he saw what was cradled in her arms. His despaired eyes raked her frame and then he gathered her in his arms and flashed away. She could feel the dizzying effect of shunshin skew her senses, a burst of warm air travel up her arms. When she glanced left, sharingan eyes were assessing her with surprise, with sorrow.

"Sarada…" Her husband whispered, lifting their daughter's body from her. His scarred fingers brushed over the deflated eye sockets where another set of sharingan used to lie. He pressed his forehead to the cold skin that Sakura could still feel on her and cursed. She had not been the first of their children to die – but she was the last.

"Sasuke-sama, Naruto-sama…" Mabui, the assistant of the late Yondaime Raikage, approached with urgency in the lines of her face and her dirty white hair in disarray. Naruto's fingers pressed into her skin and he cleared his throat for a long moment before answering.

"What is it?"

"The enemy will be closing in on our position within the next few hours. We must prepare ourselves for battle. Our remaining forces are waiting for you outside."

They wouldn't make it out of this alive. None of them would.

Sakura turned her head to stare at her daughter again – Sarada. Her beautiful, brave, kind-hearted, 14-year-old girl.

She was no stranger to death.

"Of course, thank you." Naruto rasped. It was jarring to hear a voice usually so courageous and strong now sound so quiet and resigned. It was silent for a moment, before- "Sasuke." The man above her called. Her husband, still holding their child, looked up at him with a galaxy of pain in his eyes. "We don't have a choice anymore. You have to go-"

"No." The Uchiha patriarch interrupted. "You and I must lead the charge." He stepped closer, and then his downy hair was brushing her forehead as he kissed her unmoving lips. Even in her subdued state, Sakura still felt the urge to shudder. "We have to send her."

The Hokage bristled. "Both of you then, you-"

"No." Sasuke was firmer this time and stood up properly to face the Uzumaki. "She has to go." Naruto stiffened considerably – then deflated like a balloon, shoulders sagging.

"…okay." His voice was so small. It shouldn't have been so small. Sasuke placed Sarada's body down on a nearby table with tender reverence. They moved through the hallways at a brisk pace, shoulder to shoulder, though Sakura was handed off to her husband mid-way, leaning on him with no reserve. She felt his chakra signals being sent out and then two more people join them just as they approached the door to a room. Naruto pushed it open, ushering the group through into a large space.

"I assume we've been left with no choice then." That was Kakashi-sensei, appearance haggard, eyes tired.

"It's no surprise." Tsunade. Her shishou. There were wrinkles on her face, the seal on her forehead partially gone.

Naruto hummed in response as he plucked several inkwells and a fine brush from the storage seals lining his robes. "We have an hour at most. Then Sasuke and I are needed on the front lines. It will be our final stand."

"Our finest hour." Kakashi murmured, running a hand down his face. His mask slipped down with the movement, though no one gave it a second glance. All eyes were on the elaborate lines and symbols being drawn on the floor with speed and finesse. Sakura, coming to herself as the minutes passed by, recognized the commands, the instructions.

_Control. Bend. Open. Sustain. Reverse. Fold. Close._

What is that? She narrowed her eyes, wiggling around in her husband's grasp to get a better view.

"Bring her to the center." A command that Sasuke followed without complaint. In the distant past, it would have been met with scowls and reprisals. Shunshin again, and she blinked rapidly to clear up her blurred vision. Concrete graced her back and confusion welled up inside of her rapidly.

"Sasuke?" Her throat hurt, her voice was hoarse. When did it become like that? In the midst of battle? Her limbs were still sore from it too. She subconsciously sent healing chakra to the most vital areas, a product of habit.

"Sakura." He softly answered, caressing her cheek. Naruto was still fervently painting the floors beside them. "I need your assistance with something very important." She didn't understand – she blinked unsurely, but nodded anyway. "We're all going to die soon," Alarm struck her chest, her eyes widening. "Our time has come to an end. We have nothing left but you." He procured a scroll from kami knows where, placing it on her lap. "We're sending you back, before it all began. Read the contents of the scroll when you arrive. Burn it. Complete the mission." His rinnegan flashed and suddenly, restraints of purple chakra wound themselves around her wrists and ankles.

"S-Sasuke!" Sakura cried, still very much confused and now angry. What was going on? What did he mean 'before it all began'? And damn it, she wouldn't let anyone die! Too much, there had been too much death already! What was he thinking?! Another restraint around her chest and thighs brought her down to the ground, keeping her still. She still tried to trash, adrenaline starting to pump, glaring indignantly at the man she loved. He watched her sadly.

A kiss to her forehead was his parting to her, gentle and adoring. He stood. Naruto finally finished with a flick of his wrist, setting his materials aside as everyone else stood in a loose circle around her. Hands came up into seals, chakra flared and the array below her lit up with frightening intensity. "Hey!" She yelled, activating her own seal to give her extra strength. But she just couldn't break out. "What the hell are you doing?! Stop!" No one was answering her. They were all just…staring.

"You'll look a bit different when you arrive, Sakura-chan." Kakashi commented, smiling gravely at her. That was when the combined force of four different chakras hit her, blasting through her coils and she screamed in an agony that she had never experienced before. She could feel her network stretching, her reserves growing against their will, making her feel like she was bursting at the seams, melting from the inside out. If she had not already activated her seal, she would have been dead.

"Push through it, kid, I believe in you!" Tsunade shouted. Sakura could barely register her words.

Behind her, a rip tore open the air, opening not unlike a certain madwoman's dimension-crossing technique that she could still clearly remember. She screamed even louder then, in terror, in bewilderment, and still in such an immense amount of pain. She saw Kakashi go down first – felt the abrupt transfer of his life force, much more potent than any chakra, into her. It felt like cold, cold water as it moved around inside of her and merged with her own. Her first teacher, the man she saw as a second father, dropped lifelessly to the floor. Horror struck her very soul.

Then it was Tsunade. Her life force was less frigid, and the woman of nearly eight decades staggered with a gasp before falling in a heap. Desperate, green eyes turned on the remaining two there, the hole widening behind her, who watched with sweat on their brows and tears on their lashes. They pushed a little harder, both grunting, before she was pulled back precipitously and a spike of unbearable pain made her finally lose consciousness.

* * *

When Sakura came to, the first thing that she noticed was the sun on her face. It was warm, pleasant. She groaned, feeling the soreness of her bones and automatically activated her strength of a hundred seal, healing in seconds what was bothering her. Confusion set in. What was she doing here? Where was she? Slim digits carded through blades of grass. There hadn't been grass in a long time – the earth that she lived on was made of scorched dirt and ashes. Her suspicions rose, she put herself on alert. But there was no one around, not for miles. Sakura propped herself up with a grunt, her arms and legs a little wobbly. The woman tested her stance before finally taking a few steps.

Oh. Her legs. They were a few inches longer. So were her arms. And – her eyes nearly bulged out of her head. When had her breasts gotten so...small?! She was like a pre-teen again! Of course, they had never grown to Tsunade's size, no, but they had-

Sakura sucked in a breath, hand darting out to hold herself steady on a nearby tree.

_Tsunade. Shishou._ It was like a sucker punch to the gut. _Dead. Kakashi-sensei, dead. My husband, my brother, somewhere unknown._ Sakura recalled Sasuke's last words and her head swiveled around to the place where she first lied. A scroll was there, just as he said it would be. The woman dropped to her knees before it, absently seeing her hair (which was silvery like glistening snow) and suppressing the alarm, and picked up the thing with a shaky hand. The tiny seal on the folds required her chakra and she gave it and then it came undone before her.

Her eyes darted through it…

_Insane. This is…insane._

Time travel? She was decades in the past? Everyone from her timeline was dead? She had to find and kill Madara Uchiha and Zetsu? She had to make sure Kaguya Ōtsutsuki was never revived?

_Complete the mission._

Sakura was trembling. She read over it – again and again and again. _Insane. Absolutely insane. _The faint sound of rushing water from a river nearby drew her to it, slowly, and she leaned over it to catch her reflection. Her features were more elegant, aristocratic and refined like Tsunade's. Her hair was silver, just as she suspected, just as Kakashi's was. The only thing remaining that was untouched was the color of her eyes. Glowing bright green, swirling with life force and power like she never knew them. Sakura sucked in an uncertain breath, once again scanning over the high cheek bones, the tapered jaw. Gone was the cuteness of button features and wide eyes. She was beautiful now. More beautiful than she could ever imagine, like royalty. Tsunade…Tsunade was royalty. The silver hair cascaded past her shoulders. It was long, similar to how she used to keep it when Sarada was a small child.

_Oh, Sarada…_

Sakura was no stranger to death.

The world became blurry. The sun shone down on her back, the animals chirped happily. The woman wept. She vomited, wept, and wailed until there were no more tears and the air had started to cool and the breeze around her was picking up. Slim hands wiped her wet cheeks.

_They're gone now. My world is gone._

A pull on her chakra, a bit sloppily, as her reserves were much, much larger now and she could draw on more at a time, and the scroll beside her was flamed to ashes. The contents were already memorized.

_Complete the mission._

Sakura stood to her feet and absently tugged on the hem of her loose-fitting blue shirt and pants that were standard to wear under Konoha gear. She had no kunai, no supplies, no protection but her own fists. And her chakra control was off right now… Where was she? She needed to find a place to hide.

A twig snapped to her left. She whipped around to face the tree line, eyes zeroing in on where her chakra sense told her there was a man. Her eyes narrowed and she began to slide back into her stance.

"Easy, pretty lady!" Was a deep, cautious, but still slightly playful voice. Pale blue hair was the first thing that drew her attention as he stepped into view, then forest green eyes much darker than her own and a wary smile. _Oh. Oh Kami. _She recognized him. "What are you doing all the way out here by yourself?" He asked, his eyes quickly flitting over her form. She felt vulnerable as he could plainly see that she was completely unarmed, but not as guarded as she was just moments before. She knew this man, even if he did not know her. He was not malicious. He was not unnecessarily cruel. "What's your name?"

The woman licked her lips before responding, "…Sakurai." It was more masculine than her own and she could even pull it off with how her body was angled to protect her middle and subsequently hide her abysmal breasts – but it was still very similar and that comforted her a bit, even if it was a risk. She didn't feel safe giving out her real name, not when she was in unknown territory. The man hummed and his eyes tightened a little upon a breeze revealing the seal on her forehead.

"Just Sakurai? Surely, you have a surname…" He prompted, his body tensing minimally.

"…it's just Sakurai." She murmured, gathering her chakra. She couldn't afford to endanger anyone, especially not her parents or her teachers by taking up any of their last names right now…maybe when she acclimated to this new power…

"Easy there," He recited, his hands coming up in a placating gesture. "What're you doing on the border of Fire Country? I felt your chakra flare as I was passing by."

_He probably felt the space-time tear that I went through._ "I don't want any trouble. I'm just passing through," Sakura told him, taking a step back. His fingers twitched like they wanted to reach for a weapon. "Trying to get to Hotsprings." She had to get away from him, away from here. Her appearance was too sudden, they would ask too many questions. And if he was still alive, then…

"Well, you must be awfully tired from your journey. Why don't you come back with me to my village - Konohagakure?" He suggested. Sakura was tired, she was frustrated, depressed, angry even. She didn't have time for this, she had to get somewhere and recollect herself before devising a plan of action. She technically hadn't even been born yet and she was already a grown woman – her home village wouldn't be very accepting of her. It wasn't safe.

And the continent was already either very close to or in the thralls of the second shinobi world war.

"I'd rather keep going." She boldly stated. His jōnin flak jacket was still fresh, she could see the fading lines from where it had been folded for a long period of time. He was freshly minted. She could beat him if she had to, she was sure of it. There was a tense silence between them that lasted for a few unbearable moments – and then she lunged away, eyes taking stock of the moss on the trees and the direction of the river current to determine her heading. The man immediately jumped after her, but Sakura poured her chakra into her strong legs, the overflow of it and its surprising density being enough to launch her leagues ahead and break any branches she landed on. The man faltered a bit, then doubled his pace and Sakura heard the splitting of air that let her know shuriken were being thrown. She scowled, dodged deftly like the acrobat Tsunade taught her to be and kept going. She threw more chakra into her getaway and her surroundings started to blur. The jōnin behind her was losing ground quickly, struggling just to catch her dust trail.

And then she felt the flare of three other chakra signatures heading towards her. _He called for backup. Cha! I won't lose that easily!_

The next tree Sakura landed on exploded with the force of her reversing directions, spinning in the air so she wasn't flying backwards and channeling lightning into her fists. "Shannaro!" She shouted angrily, and the man chasing her was caught completely by surprise as she burst through the trees and punched him square in the head. He was catapulted backwards and slammed into a trunk. He slumped weakly into unconsciousness as the three other chakra signatures finally caught up to her, kunai and shuriken being thrown with speed towards her position. She dodged, waited for them all to touch down on the dirt before punching the ground with enough force to shatter it – not that Sakura was unaffected. She could feel the bones in her hand shatter and immediately activated her seal to fix it with a wince. She would have simply healed it, but her chakra control was still wonky. She would have to perfect it again when she got to safety.

The ninja in front of her, three chūnin, well…they didn't stand a chance. The fight was over in under a minute. The woman channeled a bit of healing chakra from her seal to fix up any wounds she had given them and then rested the four bodies inside the trunk of a tree. She set up a genjutsu trap outside to deter anyone passing by. It wouldn't do to leave them vulnerable and hurt and make an enemy of the leaf by getting them killed. She was already bound to be reported by this team and labeled an unknown threat. Sakura sighed exasperatedly before taking off again, this time at a much more sedated pace. She couldn't use too much chakra, she had to be as stealthy as possible to avoid detection and get to safety. The better part of a few hours was spent grumbling about the unfairness of the situation she was in, how she didn't even get time to say goodbye.

It was unfair. It was too unfair. It wasn't supposed to be like this. They were supposed to defeat their enemies and rebuild the world and there was supposed to be peace. She was supposed to raise her children and help them with school and relationships and taijutsu techniques and eventually hold her grandkids close and age well with her husband and-

No. She couldn't think about that now. She had to get to safety.

Well into the night is when she finally came across the dank cave system, unknown to the world, that the seven-tails guided them to during the latter part of the war. Chōmei had sacrificed his life to get them to safety, and had been sealed in a jar of drunken dreams and twisted reality, never to be seen again. She could feel his presence in there now – his first jinchūriki had been killed during the first shinobi world war, not to be captured again until the third. It seemed he was hiding out in here until he regained his strength. With an uneasy breath, she rolled away the large boulder covering the entrance and stepped inside. Immediately, she could feel the roiling of acid-like chakra in response to her intrusion. A few enormous hallways and through an opening – she walked one foot in front of the other until the beast finally came into view.

He was just as massive as she remembered.

"Another human in my home. Have you come to seal me away again?" His tone was spiteful. Tired. Sakura shook her head, stayed at a distance.

"No. I just need a place to rest."

Chōmei's wings flapped once, sending a great gust of wind towards her that would have knocked her on her ass if she didn't apply chakra to her feet. "Go somewhere else or I'll devour you."

In spite of herself and the very real danger she could be in, Sakura chuckled. He gave her a choice. He was always the gentlest of the nine. "Now you just sound like Kurama." She joked with a small smile and his green tail twitched.

"…how do you know that name?"

She stuck out her fist.

* * *

The nanabi wanted no part in what she was trying to accomplish – but he let her stay with him to recover. Sakura closed up the entrance to the caves and slept a near 15 hours straight. Exhausted could not even begin to describe what she was feeling. Blackness, grief, and memories like oceans met her. She didn't want them. She didn't want to remember, she didn't want to see herself bathed in blood and shadow and mystery, anguished and broken for more than a decade after the fourth war before Sasuke finally caught up to her and talked her down. It had taken him years to convince her to come back to the leaf, years to get her to fall in love with him again, years to bring her out of her darkness.

But why had he? She was so drenched in blood –_ these hands were meant for healing, these hands were meant for love –_

_(so why am I elbow deep in my enemy's gut, why am I holding the stolen heart of a little genin, why is my hair so red, I swear I didn't dye it, oh god, it smellsitsmellsitsmells, there is so much blood, there is so much death, I can't breathe, I'm dROWNING IN MY AGONY, I-)_

"Wake up, human."

Sakura startled violently, gasping in air like she had been suffocating just moments before. She distantly supposed that she was. The woman took a long minute to calm herself down and regulate her breathing. She pulled a shaky hand up to her chest, intending to –

Sakura blinked. She looked down. _No. That's not right. _Her other hand gingerly palmed the space between her legs.

"Your body underwent some changes while you were unconscious."

_…well, that much is clear._

_I'm a fucking man._

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A/N: More chapters to come!

Ja ne!


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